Why I Hate Chubby Checkers

WHAT??!!  I am sure the hundreds of you following along have been asking the same question lately – “When are we going to hear about how training is going?” Sure, I’ve introduced you to the key players in this journey over the last two months, as well as brought you up-to-speed on how Lynn and I got started on this little Transrockies adventure of ours. But…I’ve intentionally left off the training piece.  So what does this have to do with Chubby Checkers?

Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the forum, err…I mean…mountain. Some of you know this already. For the rest, strap in...

• Date: Friday, January 22, 2010

• Time: Approximately 8:30 pm

• Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, NC

• Event: Charlotte Checkers Hockey Game with my son Ryan, and our YGuides tribe

At these minor league hockey games, where audiences are thin, half of the entertainment involved is getting the crowd excited during down times. Show faces on the jumbotron, free pizza giveaways, on-ice contests and using an air gun to shoot prizes into the crowd. Now, I’ve won my share of prizes over the years, but the one prize I want has always eluded me – catching a ball at a major league baseball game! (Yes, I know, I am at a hockey game – I am not stupid. Not yet at least – it’s coming). So getting something for me at this event wasn’t high on my list, but when you are there with your 7-year old son, and he wants something…that is another story.

So you have to picture I am sitting in my seat, holding onto Ryan’s jacket (cause he won’t – it would be in a ball soaked in beer on the floor), as well as holding the “bottomless popcorn box” (that’s how it was billed) and drink (I am a slave to this little guy – but he wanted to eat and drink). I was minding my own business, thinking ahead to the next morning, and the 8-mile trail race I was going to do at the National Whitewater Center. It was to be a wonderful early trail training run. WAS.

The ice was being cleaned with a Zamboni during a period break, when out comes the mascot, Chubby Checker – I don’t make this stuff up (contrary to what many of my faithful followers might think) – and he is shooting t-shirts into the crowd from the previously mentioned air gun. Suddenly one is heading our way…and by our…I mean right over Ryan’s head into the row behind us. “Catch it Ryan” I think I yelled (ok…in hindsight 2 months later, I am making that up – makes this sound like he should have caught it). I reach out with my left hand, but can’t grab it as it lands on the ground in the row behind us. “Alligator Arms” Ryan can’t reach over the seat to get it, so super-dad (yes me) tries a Shawn White half-pipe lunging, twisting, stretching 1280 McTwisty to try to grab it as well (while holding onto the jacket, popcorn and drink mind you). Judges would have given me a perfect score for in-air movement. Unfortunately, the landing would have knocked me off the podium. Let’s just say, we didn’t get stinkin’ t-shirt. No siree. I now know why Ryan has alligator arms. He inherited them. I probably missed grabbing the shirt by about 2 inches, but in the process managed to SLAM my exposed side, under my outstretched arms, onto the edge of the seat. And the first words out of my mouth to my fellow YGuides members were “I think I broke my rib.” Uh-huh. Yep.

Fell back into my seat in great pain. Ya’ll with me here? Oh, it gets better.

And for that….I will leave this as “TO BE CONTINUED”…..

KEIYH