The Last Time - A Lasting Memory

The last few months, I've written about running, training, and the TransRockies run.  It is time to bring the focus back to Emmah, and more specifically - the last time I saw her.  Back in December - Brenda, the kids and I took a trip to Illinois for the holidays, something we do about every three years.  As always, we try to visit with the Gudeman's during our visits, and this time was no different.  We arranged to have breakfast on  Sunday morning, December 27, 2009 at a local Cracker Barrel restaurant.  The entire gang - 4 Bansemer's and 8 Gudeman's!!!  A waitresses dream, or nightmare - depending on how the view the occassion.

As usual - we were a little early, and the they were a little late.  No problem - it kinda comes with the territory when you factor in the number of kids involved.  But what occurred when Jeff pulled the family car up to the restaurant door to let everyone out before parking the car will always be imprinted in my memory.  Emmah's was the first of the 6 kids to exit the car, bundled up in a winter coat, hood over her head, and walked up to the door of the Cracker Barrel, where I was holding it open.  I simply said "hello Emmah", and she came over and gave me a hug.  No words.  None needed.  I wouldn't have surprised me if she had walked right by and said nothing, as the last time she saw us was about 3 years earlier, when she was 10 and had just started her cancer treatments.  Since the Gudeman's live in Illinois, and we live in North Carolina, she may have had no recollection of who I was.  But instead, I was given the gift of a lasting memory.

For the next 2+ hours, the adults reminisced about our current lives and the good old days, and the kids played the Cracker Barrel table games.  Of course, we enjoyed the food.  That is, everyone but Emmah.  She sat at a table next to ours with her younger brother, Nick, and with my kids, Erika and Ryan.  While they ate heartily, she was unable to.  The sickness of cancer ravaging her body more than ever before.

The next day, Emmah went into the hospital one last time. 

KEIYH

Where Bodies Are Buried

Admit it - you have often wondered when people disappear, where are their bodies "hidden".  Don't lie.  We are amongst friends.  In fact, lets take this a step further.  Haven't you been out alone, or perhaps with a friends, in some desolute area, and thought to yourself, "this would be a great place to hide a body?  If I were in a situation where it had to be hidden, this would be the place!"   Yes, it is morbid, isn't it?

Today, Lynn and I returned to Crowders Mountain to get in another long run - this one was meant to be somewhere between 16 and 20 miles, and we decided to run on a part of the trail that we didn't do last week - the Ridgeline Trail.  Eventually when you run with someone long enough, you run out of things to talk about, not to mention that the hills take your breath away, so conversation is miminal at best.  The moment happened probably halfway through or run - a nice little downhill stretch, with a sharply sloping hill off to our right.  And then I said it.  "That would be a good place to dump a body."  A simple sentence. It lead to an extended conversation about how did that come up, and if someone where to commit a crime, why do they allow for a body to be found, and many other speculations.

But the point was, at some point when you have been running with someone for a few years, and logging large amount of miles, the conversations can turn to something weird.  It happened to us.  The moment then passed.  Then Lynn said "That would make an interesting blog story".

So here it is.  I hope I don't have any followers out there who need to dispose of some excess "trash."  But if you do, head about 4 miles in on the Ridgline Trail, and look to your right.  Head down a good 100 yards.  And bring a shovel (no sense taking a chance on your "trash" being stumbled upon).  Oh, and bring lots of water if you happen to do this in late July - it was hot today, and you'll want to quench your thirst and wash off the excess dirt.  And a rope - steep hill.

Now in the "Isn't that odd" category, we also saw a very old refrigerator dumped on the side of a hill during our run today in the state park.  How it got there, we don't know, but it was only about 15 yard in - a sloppy hiding job.  I think the door was removed, but I didn't pause to look.  In retrospect, I wish I did.  There could have been a body hidden in here.  I'm thinking Hoffa.  I swear that when I am in Colorado and I stumble across as similar situation, I am going to look for D.B. Cooper.

KEIYH

29 days til we toe the line!

A Big "Oh Crap" Moment...The First of Many?

The run started with a low grade hill, and Lynn and I ran for about 1 mile without conversation, huffing and puffing.  Then we rounded a bend and as we looked ahead, the grade went from 2 - 3% to maybe 7% (i left my protractor at home, so I couldn't get an accurate measurement.)

Oh Crap!

And there you have it.  We decided to walk up the hill, which just seemed to be going on forever.  The unspoken words between us were quite loud, "Whose great idea was it to run 113 miles in the mountains?"  As I tried to deflect blame, it somehow continued to find me.

The setting for this training run was at Crowders Mountain, in Gastonia, NC.  Top elevation, about 1800 feet, or approximately 1/6th of the elevation we will be running in the Rockies.  Of course, it wasn't the altitude that was the problem this Saturday, it was the realization the we cannot run uphill for extended periods of time without burning an incredible amount of energy, and bending over at the waist.  In the scheme of the big picture, this training run was perfect.  It provide an opportunity for us to realize we are human, and that we are not going to be able to run the entire distance, no matter how much we train for it.

There was a bright side to the run - coming downhill!  Whhhheeeeeeee!!!!  Just keep us away from the edges of any cliffs (should we encounter them).  Another bright side was the views at Crowders Mountain were great, and that will be magnified exponentially in Colorado.  And the final bright side of this run came on Sunday, when legs were not sore from going up, or downhill - a concern we had.

All-in-all, the "Oh crap" moment could have been a blessing in disguise.  Rather than having these revelations on the first day of the race, we had them now, and will be better prepared for the experience.

Now we have to figure out what to do should the moment arise during the run, when we might have the runs.  That would be a different kind of "Oh crap" moment!

KEIYH

33 Days to Go!

Bad Water

You may be thinking I have issues with the City of Charlotte Water/Sewer Department, but I don't.  Tastes just fine.  You gotta think about the blog title differently.  Lets combine the words. Now we have "Badwater", and possibly the toughest ultra road race around.  This little annual jog took place this week, in Death Valley, California - or at the least the start of the race did (ended at Mt. Whiteny).  Only 80 of the best and most dedicated in the ultra running community get to participate in this 135 mile race that takes you from heat extremes that can reach 130 degrees, to altitudes of 8,000 ft.  Sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it?

So this week, my Facebook friend Lisa Bliss once again served as the Medical Director for Badwater, but she was also received the incredible honor of being inducted in the Badwater Hall of Fame, and honor only a select few have received before.  This was for her commitment to the sport, the health and welfare of its competitors, and her victory in 2007.  There is a great write up of her honor on the Badwater site.

Where am I going with this?  I mentioned to my wife, Brenda, that Badwater was taking place this week.  That elicited the same sort of reaction that I got a few years ago when I told my parents I was going to run the Goofy Challenge at Disney World (40 miles over two days).  Quotes from my parents included "What are you nuts? Why would you want to do that?", and "Aren't you concerned about some sort of structural damage?".  Brenda was supportive of that run.  For the Transrockies Run, she has also been very supportive of the 113 miles over 6 days. 

But the mention of Badwater this week brought the reaction of "don't you even think about that"?  Uh-oh.  I have found out there is a limit to how far she is willing to let me run, and in what conditions.  With Mickey, Donald, Pluto and the gang. GO FOR IT!  With hills and altitude.  GOOD LUCK. YOU CAN DO IT.  With 135 miles over 2 days in some of the harshest conditions the earth can offer.  DON'T COME BACK HOME.  Interesting, isn't it. 

Can't a man dream?  I am not getting any younger, you know! If I am going to go down, I want to go down fighting (or running)!  I could blame it on the water...

KEIYH

37 days and counting!  $3900 raised!  Please help us do more!!!!

Age is a State of Mind...Unless Prize $$ is Involved

I am 42.  Lynn is 41 (sorry Lynn....you look 26).  I can tell your jaw is hanging low about now, as you are surprised at how youthful we look in our pictures.  Granted, those were taken in January of 2008 after the Disney Marathon, so you can do the simple math and determine for yourself...."damn, they still looked good for their age"!   Many thanks - it's a combination of mud treatments and beer that keep us this good.

So why share this info when most people who pass 40 wouldn't?  Well, we have to provide proof of how old we are for the TransRockies Run so we can compete in the over 80-mixed category of running teams.  Yep - that group actually exists.  If the combined ages of the 2 runners exceeds 80, it is like we get a special exemption or something.  Maybe a head-start on the youngin's?  Maybe less miles to run each day?  Maybe free massages at the end of each run?  I'm guessing none of the above.  The over 80 category exists for 2 men, 2 women, or a mixed team.  As of now, there are about 22 teams in competition with us for the fabulous title of King/Queen of the old farts....I mean, King/Queen of the mountains. 

In any case, I have come to find that many ultra runners are over 40.  It must be that they have accomplished all they hope to do in shorter distances and setting PRs (Personal Records), and have found that what they lack in speed, they make up for in endurance (kinda sounds like a having sex after getting the hang of it - doesn't it???)!!!.  Back to the G rated content....speaking for Lynn and I - we both have come to realize that distance is more fun when you aren't having to train so hard.

So in about 50 days from now at the end of the 113 mile jaunt - look for us around the podium, celebrating our journey.  Oh, you don't see us on the podium?  Silly.  I said "around".  We'll be applauding all those old geezers who really know how to run in the mountains.

KEIYH

Looking Back....Looking Ahead

In my last post, I was stuck on an airplane waiting to travel to O'Hare Airport so I could visit Jeff and Julie Gudeman.  My plane eventually took off about 2 hours late, and then I was delayed another hour waiting in line at the car rental agency.  I don't want to slam any agency, so I will leave it that you should BUDGET your time accordingly when planning to rent a car.  Not having enough workers to serve the clients is a shame - especially when I am travelling.

In any case, I made it out to Joliet, IL with a little over an hour to visit.  The Gudeman females (Julie and the 3 girls) were waiting for me on the front porch, soon to be joined by Jeff.  Eventually Nick and Jake worked their way outside too.  It was a nice visit, with a chance to catch up on happenings over the past few months, without really talking about the one thing that we constantly think about - Emmah.  She was the unspoken thought which I know I think about regularly, and I am sure they do too.  While the kids played great with one another on the front lawn, Jeff, Julie and I talked of their trip to Camp Sunshine a month earlier in Maine (a bereavement camp for families who lost a loved one), and of my recent Achillies Tendon injury.  I was quite touched when Julie provided me a prayer card from Emmah's visitation.  It contains a prayer that just seemed so fitting.

Unfortunately, the visit ended all too soon, as most visits do with out-of-state friends that you only see once in a while.  It is great that while years may go between visits, it seems like you can pick up right where you left off the last time.  I feel that way every time I connect with them, and I imagine we will always have that kind of relationship.  You have to cherish those close friendships....and I do with them.

My purpose for being in town was to host my company's annual Summer Intern Conference out in St. Charles, IL.  This is the 5th year we have gone out there each summer, and I have the wonderful opportunity to give a keynote presentation to the students each year.  This years presentation was entitled "Success is Easy....it's Failing that's Hard".   I share with the students that I have failed so many times throughout my life, that I am a success. In fact, everyone can be successful if you set the bar low enough.  But when the bar is set high, you are sure to fail a time or two, which motivates you to push even harder towards your goal.  I use personal examples to illustrates the key points

So what does this have to do with Emmah?  This year I revised my presentation to share my goal of running an ultra-marathon, and that one of my inspirations for doing so was to run in Emmah's honor.....now in her memory.  I'd like to think that I give a touching presentation, and I think I hit the mark with my six steps on how not to fail:

1.  Embrace Change
2.  Make a plan. Work the plan.
3.  Be vulnerable
4.  Believe in yourself
5.  Find an inspiration
6.  Know when to recalculate

Sometimes you just know when you do well and your message hits home. In this case, I had a number of interns come up to me afterwards to say they appreciated my words, and that they were near tears in learning about Emmah.  I don't know quite yet if I have the words to describe how that made me feel.  I continue to recognize that no matter how hard my journey to Colorado will be (and has been with a broken rib and sore achillies), it will be a cake-walk compared to what Emmah had to endure for 4 years.

This Friday, I made it out for my first run in two weeks since my achillies was hurt.  I was so nervous, and quite afraid to go out and test it.  I intentionally did not bring any workout clothes on my 5-day trip to Illinois, so I wouldn't be tempted to exercise, and simply allowed my injury to heal.  I had been reaching out to my ultra-marathon friend Lisa Stranc Bliss for advice on how to make it through this, and appreciate her encouragement and support.  Thankfully, I made a 4 mile run Friday pain free.  The true test came Saturday, on the same trail where I felt pain two weeks earlier.  Another success - 12 miles, no pain!   To help get back into the swing of things, I did another 10 miles today - again pain free.  I am concerned about doing too much, too fast....but also realize the clock is ticking.  Lynn and I are only 7 weeks away from our first run in the mountains.  I feel I am far behind where I should be at this time with my weekly mileage, but I have to play with the cards I have been dealt.  I'd prefer a full-house about now, but seem to be settling for about a pair of 2's and 3's.  Not a strong hand, but playable nonetheless.

It seems an Angel is watching over us at this point.  I only hope she will help guide us safely for the next 8 weeks, and can provide the strength to see us through this incredible journey.  A failure here would be awfully hard to take....and putting the bar lower than 113 miles at this point would be unacceptable.  No pressure, huh?

KEIYH